Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Oddites of Love

From an anonymous girl

My guy often says that sinks into my eyes. I hardly can stifle my laughter at such romantic moment. It's because my eyes are brown and I am vibrating with all my body when imagine the brown substance into which my guy sinks. But he thinks that my body trembles with the crush caused by his words. I don't change his mind.

Example of Sexual Fantasy


Written by an anonymous girl

I am a religious girl, but like much to masturbate, because I want to get orgasm, but cannot have sex without marriage. At the same time I am very scared that Jesus comes to me "just at that moment" and tells that I am sinner and will go right to the hell! When I start thinking about it I cum immediately.

Chuck's Serenity


 Another Fact about Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris decided to retire and became a Buddhist. For many years he has lived in a vihara and in that time has trained many disciples and has found great wisdom. Brethren in faith forgot that Chuck is none other than Horror of Universe and called him just Great Sage. So year passed after year and one day to the monastery, where Chuck was living  his worst and oldest enemy arrived, whose name no one knew, even Chuck himself. The enemy saw how humble was Chuck and began to tease, bully, miscall him in every way to provoke a fight. But Chuck Norris remained motionless and  silent, all deep in thought. Finally, the enemy could not stand and cried in a fit of temper:

- Chuck, is that you? You won't lay even a finger on me?

And the Great Sage replied:

- Even my breath won't touch you - my disciples will bash you up.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Ambiguity

Guy: - I love you!
Girl: - Great.
Guy: - And you?
Girl: - And I am great too!

What a cardiologist thinks

Girl: - Do you have a girl?
Guy: - No, wanna become my girl?
Girl: - Everything's possible...
Guy: - Certainly, everything.
Girl: - That's well. But is your heart occupied?
Guy: - Of course, it is occupied with my blood.

Abiotic Transformation

I've dropped my fried chicken on my notebook. Now instead of MacBook I have McChicken.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Turtle Obstetrician

Guy: - Wanna take a walk with me?
Girl: - I'm sorry, I have a turtle giving birth, I cannot leave it.
Guy: - Am I so ugly?
Girl:  - Yes