Friday, March 25, 2011

Harm of Sexual Abuse. Part 2

Can we divide the experience of trauma into stages?

There are four stages of “mourning”. They begin to evolve after a person has recovered from the initial shock.

The first stage is denial: “No, this could not happen to me”. It is very likely that the person can get stuck to it and will “watch a movie about herself”. To overcome this step she has to say innerly to herself: “Yeah, I was really raped”.

The second stage is anger, when the person ends up realizing that it has happened to her. She starts to rend the universe with the words: “Lord, why? Why me?”. An aggression directed outwards or an aggression directed inwards can appear. Self-reproaching, self-rebuking begin (“Only I am to blame all along”). To overcome this stage it is necessary to divide the whole world into two parts: the rapist and the rest of the world and put self in that rest of the world. Rapist has to be described as “evil” and the rest of the world, together with self as “good”. Convince yourself that the “good” is huge, very huge, but the evil rapist is just a grain of sand, which is about to disappear. Convince yourself that you are beautiful, delicious apple (a queen, a gorgeous lady etc.), but not a rotten banana. Otherwise you would not have been encroached on, would you? Try internally to forgive the offender. If it does not work, that is quite naturally, think about God's Court, and that It will right the wrong. It really helps to canalize energy of anger, that is to direct this energy to a real object which will absorb your energy over a more or less long time. Usually this is your job or fitness exercises, as well as a real help to other people.

The third stage is bargaining. It begins after overcoming the previous two stages, i.e. after overcoming denial and aggression. A person still feels humiliated and wants to restore self-esteem and reduce feelings of guilt as well. It is not even needed to emphasize any connection with the rape. Bargaining in this case is a try to find peace of mind by “terms with the conscience”. This occurs in the form of some of such inner monologues: "" If I'm so and so good then I’ll have this or that”, “I’ll help five people and I’ll get happiness for that” and so on.

Bargaining is a very important stage. If using it it is not possible to raise self-esteem then the person becomes depressed because informal social norms prescribe to treat raped persons in somewhat negative way. Even if people around do not know anything about what happened, it makes no difference, these social norms will still act in the mind of the victim and will make the person more and more sad and depressed.

The fourth stage is the stage of self-acceptance and acceptance of what happened with you. Aggression, feeling of guilt has been soothed strongly. Depression happens occasionally. The person has almost recovered from the psychological consequences and needs only few strong-willed efforts and time to get rid fully of the mental trauma associated with rape. Previous part 1 Next part 3

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Harm of Sexual Abuse. Part 1

Any kind of violence is a terrible ordeal. Especially sexual abuse. It is a shock when you do not realize, do not feel anything and even breathing is short. Air has stuck in the throat, and you do not know how to survive. Future mental evolution is fairly traditional: loneliness, feeling of guilt, lower self-appraisal and so on.

How does the abuser’s personality influence the severity of trauma in sexual assault?

Criminal violence, when unidentified men attack in the dark alley, is one level of injury. Rape committed among acquaintances, when you know the abuser and have trusted him, is the other level. Both levels are terrible, but the intensity of painful effect is different. Raping by an acquaintance causes the loss of confidence in addition to the shock of the violence that cannot but exacerbate the pain of the victim.

The mental scar is suffered in different ways. Which human qualities does the depth of pain depend on?


From the standpoint of overcoming injuries, hard work willingness and dedication are important. An absolutely valuable quality, which promotes rehabilitation, is a sense of humor and optimism. Tenacity and intelligence will also help to overcome the harmful effects of rape.

Susceptibility to injury depends on many circumstances. Socialization begins back in kindergarten: we are establishing alliances, maneuvering, fighting and surviving, the same goes on in school. It trains our survival system, security system and the system of inner support. If the protection system is weak, then the person that had been brought up like a little lord or little lady, cannot cope with psychological trauma and slides into a neurosis, which can be very severe, up to psychogenic paralysis, epileptic seizures and even stroke and coma.

Therefore any difficulties and complexities that fell to us, if they are not excessive, will do us good. They train us and give great opportunities for personal growth. Next part 2

Sunday, March 20, 2011

How antidepressants work

The medical term “posttraumatic stress disorder” in common language means just moral crash or loss of strengths, both physical and mental ones. That can be caused by everyday plights or other bad occurrences that press a man or a woman. As a result a person becomes less able to cope with everyday tasks and chores, since his/her attention has always been drawn by events of the past. The person ends up devoting much time to excessive self-analysis, loses normal sleep, and gets nightmares.

A really effective way to get rid of this problem is taking of necessary amounts of vitamins and other nutrients, sufficient time to sleep, motion activity (walks, jogging, fitness), verbal communication with positive people. That helps if the trauma, which caused the stress has been left in the past and a person is disturbed only by its echo. If the stressing factor is still continuing, for example you are at a terrible job, then, first of all you have to get rid of the this factor’s influence, for example to quit your job. If you should not be free of the negative influence, no means will save you of depression.

Unfortunately, most of people try to cope with their mental problems by taking antidepressants that may cause a drug-like dependence on the pills and in addition the pills can have numerous side effects that just reveal themselves with a long time administration of these medicines. One of the common side-effects for long-lasting administration of antidepressants can be worsening of that mental disturbance, which had to be cured with a specific antidepressant. It means that your depression can become worse than before you took the first pill. That occurs because antidepressants do not replenish the “protective reservoirs” of human body, but on the contrary, make them empty with more power. Just due to the powerful flow of healing and regulatory substances from these reservoirs, released by antidepressants, you can feel a relief for a short time. But if do not fill up “protective reservoirs” with right diet, vitamins, walks and so on, then sooner or later your body will not be able to compensate your depression independent of what pills you are taking.

So you have not to abuse antidepressants, that is not to take them more than it is prescribed by doctor or by instruction. Usually if you have taken one pill of any antidepressant and there is no effect, you have not to take other one or two pills. They will not have any effect, except maybe of making you sleepy. You have to continue taking the medicine regularly since many antidepressants show up their effect only after several days of administration. Of course you might be insensitive for a specific antidepressant. Then you have to change it for another medication. But don’t cease to strengthen your body with vitamins, walks and positive thinking. Or start it if you have not done it yet.


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